Saturday, June 27, 2009


I am off the medicine to stop the labor!! Yeah!! Now just the waiting game on when Elliott will make his entrance to our world. I figure he is a stubborn little boy already that he will wait 3 more weeks, which will be ok. I am very excited to see him and what he will look like. Will he look like Bobby and Mary or will he look like his daddy did? I am all ready for him, all clothes washed and put away, crib up and ready. Baby Shower today to get through, and we are good to go.

We thought maybe he was struggling to gain any weight, if I have been feeding him enough. It is a struggle to me to eat enough. To get it through my mixed up head that it is ok to gain weight, to eat carbs, to get more fat. I am doing it, but my head wants to refuse. We learned on Thursday that he is doing great. He has gained and looks really good. My body makes it hard to read. I am not absorbing the water that I am drinking, I don't know what food I am absorbing. It makes me feel very relieved to have seen him doing well, now to be able to hold him in my arms.

I have kept quiet about most of the struggles that I have dealt with through out the last two years. Not sure why. I am feeling that I need to let others know, maybe be able to help someone else. If for the only reason, to have others be able to support and help me through the continuing struggles. It will be a lifetime of struggle, but it has made me a stronger person. I am thankful that I have a Heavenly Father that forgives, and helps you through the tough times and the good. I am grateful for a husband that has stuck by me trough it all, he has been my lifeline. I know that he will always love me no matter what I go through.


provobaileys said...

I know just how you feel. I really worried with my first pregnancy if the baby would get want it needed, I lost 30 while I was pregnant. Lance was 6 lbs 10 oz. I thought that was great. He is even a smart kid so I guess he got everything that he needed. Then will my other two pregnancies I worried that I would start gaining weight and that it would never come off. (After all of that work). It came off slowly, and I never did hit my pre pregnancy weight before I got pregnant the third time, but it seems to have finally come off since I stopped nursing this last time and now I am finally were I want to be.(Now that Reese is 19 months old) It is hard for people to understand, even my sisters, because they have not had to deal with this the same way that I have. People always comment on what I am eating rather, you eat so little, or can you really eat that much. I am really very self conscious about it. I shouldn't be but I am. I feel good about what I have accomplished and want to continue to keep my weight under control. But that is all be side the point. I understand and if you ever need to talk about it I would love to listen. Don't know if I would have much advise to give cause everyone is different, but I do understand. Good luck with the delivery and we really will miss you at the reunion. Call me if you need to talk 801-678-0559

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